One of the last years that I played in this league we were playing for the league championship against a team that was perennially in the championship game. They had a lot of talented players on their team and were very vocal about their abilities. You could say that they were arrogant about their team and their abilities.
We had lost the first game to them in a very close decision and were playing a second game to try to force a third game to stay alive in the championship tournament. It wasn't going very well at all and in fact, we were losing by a large margin toward the end of the game.
I played left field and a young man played center field beside me. As the game wore down, the vocal boasting and teasing by the other team started wearing on my young friend. He was beginning to feel compelled to march into their team bench and give them a word or two to straighten them out!
I calmed this young friend down and asked him if this game defined who we were as complete individuals. He had to admit that it didn't but he said that "they're laughing at us"! I asked him if the other team really knew who we were and what our character was and what we truly stood for? He answered that they probably didn't understand too much about us. I told him that they were just acting childishly and that we should ignore them.
It would have been very easy for our team to be offended with this team and taken action but thankfully we had a lot of mature employees on the team and this game was an outlet for fun and that was it! It didn't affect our pride - we were beaten by a physically better team.
How many of us are physically and emotionally affected by actions of other people and react in a way that harms us more than it does them? Whether we react in anger, jealousy, indifference, or physical abuse, does it ever make the situation better? Conversely, does it shape our character in a way that reflects negatively on the well-being of our state of mind?
Another friend of mine stated in a speech that the way we can overcome doing things that negatively affect our character is to listen, wait and then act. In this way, we can think about our actions and the consequences before act rashly.
I recently read where a University of Oregon football player swung at and hit an opponent and knocked him down to the ground after the opponent teased him about losing the game. Consequently, the U of O player was suspended for the season. It was a senseless act that contributed to a very painful consequence. Neither player really knew what the other player stood for but the Oregon player took actions that could shape his character in a negative way -- we'll see how he responds to this adversity.
Our children are given messages through various media outlets that tell them that it is "all about me". That sex outside of marriage is the norm and girls, especially, must dress provocatively to be attractive. Taking actions on these messages can damage the character that they need to combat these messages and bring consequences that could control them for years to come. You can read about it here.
Are we saving enough for the future? One of the main reasons we are in a huge recession is that not many of us save any money at all. Too many of us misuse credit cards and other credit instruments. But again, the messages that we hear are to live for today and pay later. That catches up with us after a while and can have devastating effects on our financial welfare. What are we to do? Work out a comprehensive plan and stick to it! We will have to make sacrifices but it will be well worth it if we become financially secure! We should do a financial checkup so that we won't suffer the adverse affects of poor financial planning!
I would like to refer back to Gerald Sindell's book, "The Genius Machine". Mr. Sindell states that we should be asking the right questions in regards to our ideas and actions. I wholeheartedly agree with that! Number 3 on the list is implication (to explore all the consequences to our ideas). I would add that we must explore the consequences of our actions as well and we must do it before we act. Take another look at the different steps of the Genius Machine!
In so many situations in our lives, we allow other people and events to define who we are simply because we haven't developed the character to counteract the emotion that comes along when a significant emotional event (SEE) happens in our life.
My friend could have really gotten into trouble -- maybe he could have even gotten fired if he would have acted rashly. Because he didn't he was able self-evaluate and realize that the words the other team was saying about us or him didn't define who we really were. It wasn't our character that they were attacking, it was our pride! Pride can get us into deep trouble if we are not mature in our thinking.
Don't let what someone says about us or an emotional event define who we are. Listen, wait and then act and let the patience that comes from confidence and mature thinking continue to form the character that lasts forever!
Until next time,
Jerry de Gier
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