I asked the group how many of them had lived their entire life in Southern California. About 7 people out of the 60+ people raised their hands. I explained that most of us have moved around a bit and because of that possibly could have less than a stellar approach to commitment.
I also explained that we can tend to lose focus because of what faces us everyday in the way of information. Internet searches can take us off track so easily and we can still feel that we learned so much by doing that. In reality, we have wasted a huge amount of time by getting off track like that repeatedly throughout the day and not staying focused on our original task.
Think about this in the context of relationships with anything -- does being overloaded with informational options tend to keep us from cementing solid relationships in all areas of our lives?
How many of us understand how much work goes into building a solid marriage? Have many of us have grown a garden or raised animals for food? Have we ever had to repair a fractured relationship? Have we cared for our elderly parents or grandparents?
All relationships, whether with the land, animals, people or perhaps, the environment, take a huge amount of work. Shortcuts rarely work and many times can be incredibly destructive. We are told, however, that we are to live life to the fullest and within that message can come a lack of commitment to values that sustain communities.
What is the result? An agriculture system that uses pesticides and fertilizers that are harmful to humans and the environment. A nursing home industry that is overloaded and in many ways, impersonal. A fast food industry that provides a substantial percentage of our daily diet in foods that actually can kill us if we indulge too much. Relationships that are so shallow! We probably don't even know our next neighbors in many cases. In many ways, we have received exactly what our lifestyles have demanded for us.
While at this camp, I talked to someone who teaches children who have emotional problems. We discussed that his main goal was to teach these young people how to properly think about themselves and the relationships that they have with others. How about us? Do we take the time to properly think about the different relationships that we should have with everything around us or are we so overloaded with informational options that we have lost the focus that it takes to do that?
Have we lost the commitment to values that sustain a community? If we have, how do we change? First of all, we must realize that solid relationships with anything take time and hard work. Are we committed to these relationships even knowing that is the case? Secondly, we must think about the impact that our conduct and lifestyle has on everything around us -- are we ready to change if we are taking a detrimental approach to values that sustain a community? Every little part helps to create the whole effect!
It means that we have to pay as much attention to what is around us as we do to what we want for ourselves.
It is interesting to note that many people are starting see that they are out of touch with some of the aspects of their community. Whether it is their career choices or raising some of their own food, people are thinking about how they affect the communities in which they live.
Steve Roesler tells us that a little sweetness goes a long ways to attract the right relationships. He also states that we need to sit back and survey what is around us once and a while to gain perspective.
On a sad note, Ted Kennedy has died. Whether you agreed with him or not, you have to admit that he was a integral part of the American landscape for years. George Will writes a balanced perspective on his life.
Gerald Sindell has developed a system called the Genius Machine. Sindell states that after you have used the Genius Machine for a while you will turn into a noticer of things. You will become a better listener as well. These two qualities can help in your quest to be more aware of what is around you. You can read about this on Mike McKinney's blog.
While at the camp, I realized how much there was to the environment that was around me. I was able to focus in on the little things and realize how much makes up what we see around us. It made me think about how I impact what is in my sphere of influence. I hope this article will help you do the same.
Until next time,
Jerry de Gier
Thank you for your article. Again, very helpful and thought-provoking.
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