Symbols, Words and Gardens!

I’ve just finished directing a teen camp in Southwest Washington this past week and I have to say that it was quite a satisfying experience.  It is amazing how much you can learn about yourself when working with other people, especially teens!  Teens tend to speak their minds and point out obvious truths that we might miss because of the layers of pretense and posturing that goes on in adults minds.

It was refreshing to hear the questions asked and responses given on subjects as personal as dating and hygiene and as mundane as reading habits or washing clothes.  I need to remember to answer more frankly and without pretense when asked questions about simple things in my life.

One highlight of camp for me was not necessarily directly associated with camp.  With a colleague, I walked three miles every morning during camp.  We would awake at 5:30 a.m. and walk for an hour up into the Washington woods beside the beautiful Washougal River.  I’m not sure why conversations are better during a walk but they seem to be that way.

It was hard to see these walks coming to end as well.  They cleared our minds; got us ready for the day ahead; cemented our goals in regard to camp and overall, brought us closer together as friends.

At home I walk with 3 lb. weights but I didn’t want to drag them along with me because of the size.  So my colleague and I found rocks that were about the same weight and size and used them in place of the regular weights.   It was kind of fun walking through the woods with rocks as weights – it felt as though we were going organic!

At the end of camp my colleague decided to take his “weights” home with him.  He printed his name on them and packed them in his vehicle, ready to use them when he arrived home!  I guess to me it was like a symbol.  It was a symbol of the commitment that we had made during camp.  We both want to continue to exercise and get back into better shape physically and mentally so that we can continue to excel at our professions.  The “weights” were a symbol of that commitment!

What symbols can you have or do you have in your life that can act as a reminder to stay committed to goals and behavior that will help you excel in your life or profession?  Is it important to you to have these mini-motivators in your daily routine?

Think about what can help you stay on track with whatever goals you want to achieve and find a symbol that will encourage you daily to stay committed to the path that you have chosen.  You will be surprised how motivated you will be to your goal if you have a reminder every day.  Don’t pass up this opportunity to excel!

I have discovered a new website that I think will help you excel in one area of your life – vocabulary!  For years, studies have shown a correlation between good communication skills and success in school and vocations.  You can be sent a word a day with its meaning and uses from Wordsmith.org.  I think that you will find it useful.

Kevin Eikenberry examines the proper balance between life and work. Have you ever thought about what is important as far as setting boundaries in our personal and business lives?  Can we stay off the internet at home?  Can we say no to calls that come during supposed family time?  The answers to those questions will determine whether you have balance or imbalance in your life!  Take a look!

Here is one writer's mental wandering through the garden and what memories it brings to life in general.  I hope that we can find something as simple as a garden to bring peace and reflection to our lives.  It's important to remember the simple things that we experience with a sense of context!

As I said in the beginning of this blog, I have learned a lot from the teens that I worked with at summer camp.  They taught me to be more frank and honest with my feelings and behavior and not to get entangled with layers of pretense and posturing.  It is a lesson that I shouldn't forget.  I just hope that I can help them get a sense of perspective as they make their way through their life.  Goal setting is imperative but time out with friends and family are as well.  How we tackle this aspect of our lives will determine what type of input we can give to those within our sphere of influence. Let's not take this lightly!

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier 

Cooking with Butter!

I watched the movie, "Julie/Julia" a couple weeks ago and had forgotten that Julia Child had died a few years ago. I had to go dig out my Julia Child & Company cookbook and look through the recipes and the history of her show on PBS. This led to a rededication to cooking with butter and having friends and family over to share a meal.

It was interesting to see how much Julia not only cooked in her kitchen but also entertained in her kitchen. To me, it was an interesting insight into what really brings people together and makes the bonds that last a lifetime. It's not that everything has to be perfect and I think that Mrs. Child would have agreed with that because of the practicality of most of her recipes. It appears that she was more concerned with the people she associated with and used food as a bridge to bring her friends and family together.

How about us? What do we do or use to bring people together? Let's back up a step and ask, "do we want to bring people together?" Is that a goal of ours? If our intent is to make relationships and communities stronger, isn't this a goal that we must make our own? Whether you want to use food or not is up to you. What vehicle could you and I use to make this happen in our families and our communities?

The economy isn't looking as good as we hear it should be on the news and I suspect that it is going to be years before we truly see relief, if we see it at all. What can you and I do to enable other people to feel strengthened in their neighborhoods and communities? When is the last time you really stopped and talked to your next door neighbors? Do you know their names? You may find that very important in the near future.

The future right now is uncertain from an economic outlook and I'm wondering if we shouldn't reassess what our priorities are toward those within our sphere of influence. Perhaps we should take a look at ourselves and see if strengthening relationships and communities is a priority for us. We may need to be more resourceful in this regard as we head into the future.

There seems to be a trend in New York City for some college educated entrepreneurs that have lost their jobs to use food as a means to make a living. In the process they are finding a family to share concerns with -- it's a community! You can read about it here.

Kevin Eikenberry says that we should find something that we can celebrate about with those within our sphere of influence. Is there family news that we can share? Is there a piece of information that could build a bridge within your relationships? If you want to read this, you can go to Kevin's blog.

I am reading a book that shows how a community in Alaska helped out one of their own after she was injured in a bike accident. "Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs" shows a community in action so that a resident can regain her footing in the place in which she lives. It is a novel by Heather Linde.

I have recently completed a review on a Will Marré book about having the right life balance in everything that we do. The book shows us how we must not neglect relationships as we try to find our way in the world. The book is entitled, "Save the World and Still be Home for Dinner." I think that you will find it helpful in many ways.

When you read through her books, you can see Julia Child cared for people and did what she could do to bring them together. She didn't just bring them together she gave them an environment to get to know each other much better than before and to excel as a "family."

What are we going to do to strengthen our relationships and community? I'm going to cook with butter more often and start to exercise rigorously!

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Do Resolutions for Change Really Work?

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and many of them are full of New Year's resolutions! It is interesting to read about the desire for change in the upcoming year. There are so many different paths that people want to take. Some want to lose weight, some want to get a different job, some want world peace, some want to stop using foul language and others want "free" health insurance and the list goes on and on.

Is writing about change in our lives going to make it better? Perhaps, but what is more important than just writing, dreaming or hoping for change? Isn't making a plan and executing it that is most important?

The reason most resolutions don't work in the long run is because there isn't a plan to follow. We lay out nebulous plans for change and that is exactly what happens -- something nebulous. Well, something definite usually happens -- nothing. We can do this in many areas of our lives until the idea of bettering ourselves hasn't any meaning after a while.

A colleague of mine stated that a friend of hers wanted to go back to college to finish her degreee but has never done it. She said that the friend wanted to get it done quickly but never had the resources to start it or complete it quickly and because of that never got started on it. She said that if her friend would have just taken a course once and a while, over time, she would have finished by now. That takes vision and patience.

Will Marré was asked how long it took to write his latest book. He stated that it took 60 years of experience to put this book together. That takes patience!

People, especially Americans, want everything right now so to take slow, planned, deliberate steps is not our style. The style that many of us employ leads to letdown and ignorance. Please don't do that!

Another stumbling block that stands in our way is the useless information that many of us allow to be placed in our minds. Instead of change for the better, many of us follow the incessant messages that we receive from the society in which we live. We have a herd mentality! We see and hear it around us and we go with the flow of the society and culture that surrounds us. It actually smothers us if we allow it to do that.

What has to happen for effective change to take place? We need to monitor all the areas of input that we can receive and we must define the path that we want to take for the effective change to happen in our lives.

Please don't underestimate the self-control that this will take. Society tells us that it is an easy road to goals that are meaningful. Let me quote Frank A. Clark for an illustration! "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." Do we believe this? If we are listening to the society in which we live, probably not! Please don't wait a lifetime to figure this out. It takes hard work to achieve our goals and we have to start sometime and somewhere.

Write your goals down and put them someplace where you can see them every day. But don't just make goals. Make a list of roadblocks that could get in the way. By writing down these roadblocks you will be reminded of them if they pop up in your way. You can then remove them on your way to effective change.

Be accountable to someone. Don't do this on your own -- it rarely works! Include someone who you know will help you move toward your goals. Don't get mad at them when they hold your feet to the fire.

Most of all, I think we need to monitor what we allow to influence us. I can't say enough about that! If you are a religious person, read the Bible more. If you are a person who relies on friends, surround yourself with friends that will build you up. If you are into self-motivation, listen to motivational speakers that teach you balance in your approach. Don't get into an "all or nothing" mentality. It doesn't bring balance into your life.

When we do this, watch patiently as we see what we put into our minds and what we act upon, actually changes our lives in a significant way. It is astounding to witness the changes that can happen in our personal lives. Don't wait -- start now!

Debbie DeSpirt at suite101.com states that we don't have to wait to teach our children how to set and achieve goals. They can be taught at a very young age how to plan for the future and achieve the dreams they desire.

"Have I become largely what people have wanted me to become?" It's a question that is pondered by someone at Thought Rocket blog. The dreams and goals that we set -- are they really ours or are we simply going along with the flow of the society that is around us? A good question to ask all of us!

Kevin Eikenberry states that we should set goals with other people as well. This is especially true with parents! Do we set family goals? In order for our family to be involved in the goals and fulfilling the goals, we must get them excited and involved in setting these goals.

Many times around this time of year there is a lot of excitement about change. Within a short period of time that change turns into inaction and the realization that we have failed again. Perhaps a different perspective needs to be acquired.

I should point out that New Year's Day is just an artificial marker in our lives year in and year out. Why does it have to be around this time of year that we make this kind of decision or goal? Why not strip away the artificial marker and make reaching our dreams and goals a life long pursuit?

I want to leave you with something that my specialist told me during an office visit. He said that many people are realizing that losing weight or dieting is not an end in itself. Losing weight, eating right, exercising and mental preparation are a lifestyle change! Are we willing to commit to a lifestyle change in order to achieve our goals and dreams? If you want to give to yourself and to others you must be prepared to do that!

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Add to: | Technorati | Digg | del.icio.us | Yahoo | BlinkList | Spurl | reddit | Furl |

Something is Better than Nothing -- Wrong!

You have probably all heard by now that the House of Representatives have passed their version of a heath care reform bill. It dominated the news over the weekend and I woke up Sunday morning to the twitter boards alive with the news.

What I heard many times were individuals stating that it was good that something happened positively in regards to passing some sort of legislation for health care reform. The sentiment in some of the tweets was that something is better than nothing. Is that really a correct or proper perspective?

I don't think anyone disagrees that health care reform is necessary but is something really better than nothing if it is wrong? I'm not here to debate the issues involved in health care but what I am concerned about is the idea that something is better than nothing.

We live in a very transient world -- families are spread around the globe and the idea of a nuclear family close and connected is becoming less of the norm as we move forward in time. We are hooked up to immediate news and immediate gratification and when information or decision-making materials are not readily at our disposal, we can get impatient and make impulsive decisions. Our opinions can be based on little or no factual information sometimes and that can be dangerous. Is something better than nothing based on this scenario?

Is some of the wrong medication better for a person than none at all? It could be lethal! Is wrong education really better if it leads us to wrong conclusions? I doubt it! Is reading material that pollutes our mind okay in small doses because it is a least something to read? Do you see how ridiculous this can be?

A great deal of damage can be caused by decisions based on wrong or impartial information. It is true that many times we hear what we want to hear and miss an entire body of information that would change our mind on a certain issue. It's important then that we not only listen attentively but also ask the right questions. In fact, it is our responsibility to ask the right questions! If the answers are not given we must pursue it to ensure that truth is what guides us.

This should be the case in so many areas of our lives. Are we asking the right questions of our employers when we are asked to pursue some act of employment that offends our conscience? Asking the right question could lead to changing policies that harm. You can read about it here.

Kevin Eikenberry says that it would be nice if we could just schedule and complete things that we like and find fun, we should also schedule things that help us be our best. When we do that, Eikenberry says that we will be pleased with the results.

On a lighter note, Sesame Street turns 40 this week! It is hard to believe that the program has been around that long -- it has educated children for a long time. Michelle Obama makes a guest appearance.

So something is not always better than nothing especially if it based on wrong information or motives. I hope that we will always seek for truth and live our lives accordingly.

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Add to: | Technorati | Digg | del.icio.us | Yahoo | BlinkList | Spurl | reddit | Furl |

The Right Balance of Self-sufficiency!

I grew up on a farm in Minnesota -- that in itself isn't a big deal because many people have grown up in a rural setting. What has come out of that experience, I guess, is what is more important.

My earliest memories are from the mid to late 1950's and include huge white farm houses and red barns. I remember large gardens on my parent's farm as well as my grandparent's farm. We also had a lot of farm animals - cattle, pigs, chickens and of course dogs and cats.

From a very young age, we were taught to work hard and help produce the food that would sustain us economically and physically through most of the year. So we had to weed the garden, feed the animals, prune the fruit trees and maintain the yard.

We didn't appreciate the workload at the time and I'm sure if you asked my parents, they would tell you that we probably had a few words to say about not wanting to do all of this work. But through "encouraging" parents, we learned to do many things that people nowadays haven't a clue how to do.

We canned and froze many vegetables. We butchered chickens and froze them for later use. We made jams and jellies and all sorts of preserved fruit for our traditional German desserts! For many years I took all of this for granted and just labeled it in my mind as something that everyone knew and exerienced. But not so!

Very few of us realize where the food comes from or how it is produced or transported to the grocery store where we pick it up for our eventual use. Very few know of the sacrifices that are made by the entire community for food to come to our tables.

I would have to say that it was a unique upbringing - one that has taught me a small sense of self-sufficiency. You see, we didn't have to buy much food at the store because we had a lot of it grown or produced at home. This training also went into fixing cars and farm implements and repairing tires and fixing buildings when they needed it.

This upbringing and training develops a mindset that when put into an unfamiliar situation, you could work your way through the roadblocks and come out on top! It helps especially in these trying times that we find ourselves in.

I think that if we would give ourselves and our children more of these opportunities, we would see a greater appreciation for the resources that we have at our disposal. We would also not take for granted where our food comes from or the value of the life that gave that food for our sustenance.

It is interesting in these tough financial times that more people are raising livestock in their backyards. Even though they know that it isn't cost-effective compared to buying things like eggs at a grocery store, people want the security that having their own chickens brings. We now find that it isn't just the eggs that they want but also the meat from the chickens as well. It brings a appreciative and thoughtful mindset to the one raising the chickens.

The New York Times talks about how hatcheries are seeing a huge increase in their orders this year over last year. They also talk to a few people on the reason for raising their own animals on their property -- self-sufficiency seems to have a part to play in this.

Kevin Eikenberry states that asking "Why?" can stimulate learning, facilitate discovery, create understanding and quench curiosity; it also can impede progress, insinuate power and suggest judgment. Given these facts, use the "Why?" question with care.

It is important to ask the right questions in order to determine if it will bring us the right answer -- we must have the right tools at our disposal to make these decisions. This can help in having the right balance of self-sufficiency.

Mike McKinney explores a new book about learning to apply the right view and the right conduct to our decision making in order to come to what is best not only for ourselves but those in our sphere of influence. We continue to teach those in our sphere of influence how to think critically! It leads to the right balance of self-sufficiency.

Most of the people that I knew back on the farm realized that we couldn't be totally self-sufficient. What was apparent to many was there was a need to be interdependent on each other. This led to an appreciation of what was given to them and also what it took to sustain a community. Sacrifices had to be made at every level of the community.

I think that if more of us would be closer to the earth and what is grown, we would have a balance of self-sufficiency that would lead to a greater appreciation of plant and animal life and how that life has to be sustained.

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

What's Our Legacy?

I have just returned from a funeral of a very dear friend. She had struggled so much in the last two years just to stay alive. There were so many times in the recent past that I had thought that she was going to slip away but she always seemed to rally. Although, each time it seemed as though she went a little farther into her regression of health.

She was a fighter and someone who had always believed in truth. She didn't compromise even on the little things. I made that assessment awhile ago but it was confirmed today at the funeral by her own children. They all told me that their mother left an indelible impression on all their lives in this area of discipline -- she wouldn't compromise in the little things.

I stood looking at the children and the grandchildren all gathered together mourning the death of their beloved mother and I got a sense that somehow this attention to detail had bonded them together so tightly as a family. They were laughing together and crying together as well.

At one point, I stood up and said that my friend had told me something about the family that really touched me. There was a nervous laugh and a chuckle among them but I said that it was a good thing and they all laughed. I told them that my friend wanted me to know all of them and so my friend had sent me an email that contained names and pictures of the entire family so that I could put faces to names. I had become, in some small way, a part of their family. My friend had taught them that.

She had left a legacy for all of us to see and appreciate.

What about us? What legacy are we building now? Are we consistent in our ways as my friend was in her attention to detail? Have we made an effort to be inclusive in our relationships with others? Are our friends familiar with our nuclear families? It is something we should consider.

In our families as well in our vocations, people will follow our example if we can delineate that example and give those within our sphere of influence vision. Kevin Eikenberry explains this in his latest blog. In this way, we can leave a legacy.

Speaking of our sphere of influence, what type of leader are we? Is it a gloomy day continually within our organization or family? What type of personality qualities allow health and healing in the relationships within our sphere of influence? Focus on the Family lists laughter as a healer of relationships and a way to cope with the stresses of life that affect those relationships.

Mike McKinney shows us that when we stand up and lead in the right way, it can help those around us make the type of decisions that necessarily bring good results. You can read about it here.

All of these links show us how to build and leave a legacy that can affect others not just now but well past the time we are on this earth. I have chosen to focus on the positive of my friend's life because of what she has accomplished. I don't mean to diminish the grief that comes along with the death of loved ones and good friends.

If you are having trouble making it through this type of grief please look for resources that can help you cope with the loss of family and friends. Vision.org has several articles that will help you make sense out of the situation and point you toward resources that will help you cope with the loss.

I walked away from my friend's funeral with a new appreciation for what she had done within her sphere of influence and what we can still do within ours as well...but I will still miss her!

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Focus on the Small Things for Effectiveness!

Over the past two weeks, I have had the opportunity to learn an important lesson from two different situations that are totally unrelated. The first was an interpersonal relationship that needed mending and the second was an article that I am researching for Vision.org website. What was the lesson that I learned?

To be effective, I need to focus on the small things!

This may at first seem ineffective but not when it comes to important actions and tasks in our lives. I thought I was prepared and what I had done was to overlook a part of both of these situations that undermined my effectiveness. I didn't focus on the small things of each situation.

Sometimes we tend to be caught up in the obvious part of a situation and forget to look for the small actions or emotions that really make a difference. It takes action to find out what these small but important contributors are so we can be the most effective. You may not realize this but intellectual or physical laziness can limit our will to take action to find out what would be the best way to resolve relationship differences or complete a task at hand.

The relationship that I am referring to was mended but it could have been welded together if I had taken stock of my emotions and been willing to open up a bit more. I didn't do that at the time of the meeting because I hadn't prepared myself to go there emotionally. It caught me off guard! I didn't think I was going to have to go there.

In regards to the article that I am researching for Vision.org website, I had forgot to focus on a small but important part of the subject that I was researching -- I didn't think it was important because I had overlooked that part of the subject for a while. It turns out that it is a very important part of the subject and I am not prepared to write about it because I am not yet prepared in this area. Here are two illustrations of how not being prepared with the finer details of a situation can limit our effectiveness.

What can we do to avoid this? Be circumspect in all of our dealings with people and issues! Take time to review and rethink each situation or task -- don't rush into things without bringing all the issues onto the table. We forget sometimes, don't we?

An effective way to solve this oversight is to do a checklist before moving forward. I teach this principle all the time so why didn't I do it? I forgot! I got lazy! Kevin Eikenberry talks about this in one of his latest blogs.

Speaking of small things, I read an article in the NY Times this morning that made a lot of sense. It talked about listening to our bodies when we are exercising or eating. Sometimes it is hard to get a bead on what our bodies are saying but if we listen, it will tell us. It could make a huge difference whether we can lose weight or maintain our weight or just get in shape.

I hope that we will focus on these small things and not limit our effectiveness by thinking they are not important.

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Our Reputation: A Valuable Asset

I am sorting through many different applications for camper and staff positions for the camp that I direct in the southwest part of Washington State. We hold the camp in July in a beautiful spot in the Northwest called Camp Wa-Ri-Ki (Washougal River Kiwanis) near Washougal, Washington.

In order for the young people to be accepted they must have the approval of a mentor which in most cases is their local Church pastor. Just as beauty surrounds the camp in the way of mountains, rivers and trees, the young people applying for staff positions must have that type of beauty within. It goes a long way to ensure that the best result comes out of the camp experience for both the campers and staff.

In order to make decisions about the potential staff member, we ask their personal reference about their character and reputation. Sometimes, something that they have done in the past can come back to haunt them and keep them from participating at the camp. If they would be allowed to go, their effectiveness could be hindered simply because of a damaged reputation brought on by thoughtless acts.

We have probably all suffered this when we have acted foolishly and something has tarnished our reputation and our effectiveness was severely hampered. We need to realize how valuable a commodity a good reputation can be for us.

Corporations are starting to take notice that how the public perceives them and the products they sell goes a long way to help them compete effectively with their competition. This Business Week article chronicles that it takes more than just hyping your product, it means that the product has to produce the results that are advertised.

That is much like our personal reputations. If we say we are going to do something, we better follow through with it. Our reputation depends on it. People will soon find out that we are all talk and no substance. If we want to be counted on as a trustworthy person we better conduct ourselves in a trustworthy way.

In Kevin Eikenberry's blog, he gives us five ways to serve others as a Leader. One of the areas of service is that of caring. Do those in our sphere of influence know that we care? When they do, they can trust us and we can move forward in our relationship with them. Let them know by your actions that you care for them and want what is best for them. As Eikenberry states, everything that you may enact will not always be agreed on but your reputation will be enhanced when they see everything that you do is motivated by servant leadership.

Finally, I thought that you might be interested to know that on this day, May 18, 1980, the Mount St. Helens volcano in Washington state exploded, leaving 57 people dead or missing. That has been 29 years ago and many of us have that memory etched in our minds.

What we saw happen in the way of service and leadership at that time was outstanding to say the least. Many people risked their lives to help others -- we became a better society for it.

KATU-TV in Portland, Oregon has an article and video on it and wired.com shows a before and after!

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier

Having the Right Mindset!

I was reading an article in the New York Times about a commercial entitled, "Gathering Storm". It is trying to alert us to the fact that there is a national movement trying to force education that includes defining gay marriage as a normal part of our culture. It intimates that basic freedoms would be lost and proponents are trying to shut down faith based movements that might not want to help gay or lesbian couples with access to their services.

I think it is important to remember that first of all, we as followers of the way, do not get involved in politics and sometimes I think we can wander over into a political area because of what we believe.

We need to remember that gays and lesbians are a part of our culture and as citizens have the same rights as others do. We should be glad that they do have the same rights as others because that helps protect our rights as well.

There are a lot of Churches getting involved in so many causes these days on both sides of the spectrum and we must realize that isn't our job as followers of the way. When asked about our belief in this area we should answer truthfully and list the source of our statement as that of the Bible. We should realize that the ways that we follow and the world's ways do not mix and anytime that we try to mix them, a solution is not to be found -- it's like oil and water, they don't mix well.

You can read about one side of the argument in The Times. You can also view the video on Youtube.

As I have said before, we can do so much for the way of life that we should be living by how we actually live that life. People do notice! We have come through the last days looking inside of ourselves in order to get rid of things that can give us trouble if we let them stay in our minds and hearts. Left unattended, actions and reactions can really get us off base and we need to get on track again. Remember to keep the right perspective in all areas of our lives and not react in a way that show those around us that we are still a part of the world.

We can operate a lot better if we keep our physical and mental practices clear and organized. You can read about that in Kevin Eikenberry's blog.

Let's remember to clean our habits and thinking up according to the way to which we have been called. We must treat those around us with respect and kindness and give a answer for the reason why we are different to those who ask.

Until next time,

Jerry de Gier